Gone
by BrokenFacades
Summary: She still remembers the moment that her mothers tear streaked face had come into sight and she had delivered those four little words that shattered Mikan's entire world. "You were supposed to be there for me!" R&R AU


**A/N: Angsty angst angst angst. And Tragedy. And romance if you pay attention. Humor if you squint.**

**This is AU.**

**For those that read my other stories, I suppose that you can take this as a sign that I will be returning soon.**

**A story long overdue, but finally here. Dedicated to my father who shouldn't have left the way he did. RIP.**

***Note: this is completely un-Beta'd. Get over it.**

**OoOoO**

Mikan watched them pile dirt on top of his coffin.

This wasn't how it was supposed to happen – her father wasn't supposed to fall in such a- such a _human_ way. He was going to go down in a heroic way, he used to always tell her. Like by taking a bullet for her or her mother or while saving the world from some evil guy. Or doing both at the same time, because he was just _that_ awesome. She had just rolled her eyes at him and grinned. He'd also said that he would live to be old and grey and that he would walk her down the aisle and make sure to harass any and all boys who tried to get close to his "precious little Mikan". Her mother would laugh quietly behind them and watch the two interact with one another with those hazel eyes that so well matched her own.

_'He didn't even live to see my thirteenth birthday.'_

Wasn't he supposed to be invincible? He always joked that he was, after all. So… why is it that a car crash of all things could snuff out his life: just like that?

_'It's not fair._'

She still remembers the moment that her mothers tear streaked face had come into sight and she had delivered those four little words that shattered Mikan's entire world with perfect clarity. Mikan doubted the memory would ever fade.

_["Mikan, sweetie," Yuka began, and Mikan felt dread creeping upon her. _"Your dad is dead._"]_

Apparently, a drunk driver had hit his car head on, on his way home from work.

Apparently, the death was instantaneous.

Apparently, the bastard who killed her father was still alive and walking.

Apparently, he had gotten away completely unscathed.

How cliché is that?

_'I wonder if he even had time to scream?'_

Mikan didn't remember much after that: just a sudden numbness inside, yet no tears. Mikan simply found she couldn't cry.

And now was the day of the funeral. Mikan stood in the front with her mother, all dressed in black and gripping the edge of the dress she had gotten just for this occasion tightly between her fingers. Her long, honey colored hair with the streaks of gold in it that had come from her father was worn loose across her shoulders. Tears blurred her vision.

_'You were supposed to be there for me!'_

Mikan knew that it was wrong to be angry at her father- her _dead_ father but god dammit it hurt! It hurt so bad and she missed him and she wanted to see him smiling at her again and call her his "precious little Mikan". She wanted him to sweep her into a hug and she wanted to dance around the room with him like they hadn't a care in the world like they had done ever since she was little - to make and burn breakfast like he always did when he tried to cook because the man couldn't even boil water. She wanted him to greet Hotaru with that huge smile as always and glare at Natsume whenever the boy approached, muttering something about "stupid boys trying to take my Mikan away from me…" only to reluctantly let him into the house after Mikan unleashed her puppy dog eyes on him. And he hadn't become old and grey yet and he still had to walk her down the aisle, and-

"You were supposed to be there for me!"

The damn broke then and Mikan _cried_.

She didn't remember sinking to her knees and dissolving into a mess of tears and anguish, but she was there now; the smell of fresh earth and many flours assaulting her nose. Behind her, her mother cried even harder than before.

"You lied to me!" she screamed at the dirt covered coffin and ignored the sympathetic murmurs of the spectators and the cries of her mother and close family. "You were supposed to be there for me-! Dad!"

She sobbed brokenly.

"_Daddy_…"

A strong pair of arms wrapped around her then, pinning the arms that had been reaching hopelessly towards the pile of dirt that covered her fathers coffin to her side. Mikan buried her face into Natsume's chest, her entire body shaking from the force of her tears.

"_Don't leave me,_" she begged. "Don't leave me…"

Natsume stroked her hair and murmured to her, saying "I would never leave you" and "It's gonna be alright".

But it wasn't. It would never be alright again.

And the last shovelful of dirt was piled on top of her fathers smiling face.

**OoOoO**

**A/N: I'm considering making this into a collection of ficlets that will all connect. IDK.**

**Review? I would appreciate it. ^_^**


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